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Sean Morgan 00:00
I'm Sean Morgan and I'm asking the hard questions about alternative topics like Q anon and Coronavirus, get the free ebook at Q and on faq.com I think it's been hard for myself to go through this process of finding about so much evil in the world. And and actually something that's made me feel a lot healthier has been starting the channel and just sharing more. But, yeah, I think that this is a global collective consciousness issue that we're all going to have to deal with it together. And if we don't help each other, then it could really turn ugly. It could be violence and suicide and addiction and abuse and all kinds of problems.
Parker Hall 00:51
Absolutely. All those things if we, if we don't emotionally process if we don't, as you say grief you You mentioned Kubler Ross is grief cycle if we don't grieve, if we don't express every little bit of the impact that these stories are having on us, they do build up and build up and our organisms are under such a huge amount of stress. We do all kinds of things to try and run away from that.
Sean Morgan 01:26
And we could redirect it you know, take out aggression on our own family and and it could affect our work and everything if we don't figure out a healthy channel for it. Okay, Can Can you just because I'm recording this now and we might decide to share it later. Would you mind giving like a little elevator summary of who you are what you do.
Parker Hall 01:51
Okay. Where to start?
Parker Hall 01:57
See Parker Hall on a second. therapist in private practice I've been practicing for about 23 years now. And I have an interest in anger and rage. And I am author of a book anger rage relationship, which is partly prompted by my dislike of the feminist approach to domestic abuse. And I was working with a lot of men who, in my opinion, were harmed by the Duluth model program, they would come to me because they weren't doing well in the Duluth program. And we would have to debrief a whole load of trauma that they'd experienced on that program. Before then before we could then look at, you know, the real underlying issues that that we all have male or female, that can cause rage behaviors, so that that was part of the inspiration. And the other part was that I was a very enraged child. And my dear parents, bless them didn't know what to do with me. So I was I was called mad and bad and shamed for it. And I kind of grew up with this fierce determination to have rage a bit more compassionately. Understood. So that's, you know, as a trauma, behavior, you know, that any one of us can slip into when we're overwhelmed as you say, you know, when we can take it out when others
Sean Morgan 03:38
it's a fight or flight thing. Can you can you explain the Marxist feminist structure of understanding and the therapeutic process or non therapeutic process that they they use or the model they use to understand masculinity?
Parker Hall 03:57
And oh, Crikey.
Parker Hall 04:00
I think there's a dislike of particularly traditional masculinity. I mean, you you'll know the American Psychological associations, psi guidelines actually identify stuckness and competitiveness as kind of toxic qualities. And whereas all the evidence shows that they're actually quite attractive qualities, you know, unless
Sean Morgan 04:32
women show those traits and then they're all of a sudden, you know, kind of honored for being able to take those on, which is really kind of a sick kind of projection.
Parker Hall 04:43
Yes, and within within the universities where a lot of counseling courses are delivered now. They do get flavored with the Marxist socialist feminist ideology and masculinity is seen as Something in need of deconstructing reconstructing reconstituting, undoing all those phrases. And I feel so frustrated because I just think if we were talking about any other group of people, we'd be urging ourselves to be compassionate and empathic and accept it. Rather than thinking they've got to be changed this group of people have to be Yeah,
Sean Morgan 05:32
they're not that is that is very interesting. And and the same thing happens in the mainstream media with white people actually, it seems like there's a pass like if it's about the majority or the privileged class, then we can say whatever we want about them, we can put them down we can marginalize them, we can say that they need to be fixed. But But if it's any other group besides the privileged or the majority, then it's considered racist. Or bigoted to do that.
Parker Hall 06:02
That's so much sure that I work with so many men in my private practice. I'm in Cornwall, which isn't a very culturally diverse area and in Cornwall in the UK, it's not very diverse. And these men I work with feel far from privileged, you know, they feel far from omnipotent. And if
Sean Morgan 06:25
you look at the stats, I mean, men suffer from suicide more and other other types of you know, the it's easy to throw stats around, you can say, yeah, men commit murder more and you can you can throw those and make them seem like the bad guys, but they're also you know, just like every group, there are certain things that men are actually victimized as well. I
Parker Hall 06:48
couldn't agree more. I mean, the educational system is, I don't know about America, but certainly here It isn't best suited to boys, and they are the most likely To be excluded, they didn't succeed at the same rate as girls. health wise, not as much money invested in the UK. I don't know, again, I can't speak for America, in men's illnesses.
Sean Morgan 07:15
Well, in America, the the stats in the higher education are that more women are going to university than men.
Parker Hall 07:22
Yes, yeah, that's the same is true here. And like you say, Here, the suicide rate is four times higher for men. Now, you could guarantee if it was four times higher for women, they'd be uproar. Right. That'd be people on the streets that the parliament would have to know immediately pass a law or measure of some kind.
Sean Morgan 07:49
Right? Okay, well, well, let's look at the, the work that needs to be done here with the great awakening and the Great Awakening just being a generic term. For the collective consciousness, consciousness, waking up to corruption at all levels of society, government, economic media, all the institutions that we have. So when people kind of wake up to that, as I have, you know, throughout my life, I've experienced rage. You know, I've been so angry and felt so powerless to change these big institutions. And then if I want to even tell my closest family and friends, I could be subjected to rejection, ridicule, shaming. And so what can people do with all this pent up rage?
Parker Hall 08:37
With a pent up rage well, to my mind, rages on processed emotions, and it's every every processing emotion. So if we talk about sadness, fear, and anger, they all get bound up into just a high agitation state. So what We need to do is help people tell their individual stories, you know, everything that's bombarding them that they've had emotional response to, that they haven't been able to verbalize, is what's causing the organism to wobble and then explode or I took a cold rage go numb, you know, flop freeze, die now I've
Sean Morgan 09:27
suffered from chronic fatigue like, because I wasn't expressing my emotions, I would just couldn't get out of bed and it felt like a physical symptom. I just thought maybe you have a problem with my adrenals or some kind of physical problem. But then once I processed the emotions, all of a sudden I could get out of bed and I could do everything I needed to do.
Parker Hall 09:48
Yes, it's incredible the link between emotional health and physical health and I think a lot of people are living in fight and flight All the time, you know with no rest by with no soothing or calm state available to them, or in a current no depressive flop. And I really liked what you were saying about getting your material out there and that made you feel better. Similarly, I've I've felt that that there's so much knowledge and experience and emotion building up, it's got to be shared somehow. The other thing I think is we can't do this on our own is to bigger mega issue, to be dealing to be dealt with in an individual psyche. You know, you said it's a conscious issue, we have to do it together.
Sean Morgan 10:48
Yeah, and when you feel powerless, it just kind of reinforces feeling like a victim and all the negative emotions but when you actually do something about it, for example, even if like you feel bad about Poverty in the world and you go and you volunteer, and you're helping homeless people or something like that, just even though it's one little tiny step in the right direction, emotionally, it can have a huge impact on yourself.
Parker Hall 11:12
Like, I couldn't agree more. I think behavior is important and directing it in a direction that's going to give us a good feeling and Okay, feeling. Definitely. I mean, I think we desperately need to feel like we belong. I really hear what you're saying about being mocked, being ridiculed, you know, eyes glaze over, when you mention any of the issues that we're concerned about, or any of the things that are happening in the world that haven't made the mainstream media yet that are beyond belief, and they aren't beyond belief.
Parker Hall 11:53
That the kind of evil things that have been going on
Sean Morgan 11:57
what about the people who For example, they don't express their any type of emotions because of the fear of social rejection. Or they're afraid if I start venting everything I'm feeling on the people around me, I'm just going to be a big downer on them. That's what I've felt. I felt like wow, if I really tell people everything I'm going through every day, I'm going to bring them down.
Parker Hall 12:24
I think I think that's right, I think
Parker Hall 12:28
because it is too much for people. And I think reading between the lines I'm wondering if you emotionally woke up at the same time, and that you you people around you were used to you being within a smaller window of experience or tolerance. And you you got more agitated or anxious or bigger, more passionate, more more kind of driven to shape us and and to get people on board.
Sean Morgan 13:00
Well, something that I have gone through this somewhat related to this conversation is, you know, it's saying basically expressing or affirming my own autonomy and and that can come out in a bad way sometimes was saying, hey, you can't cross my boundary and then I can seem angry and everything but there's a certain level of that that might be necessary so that other people don't trample over you and tell you what to think and feel and say what's is or isn't right for you and expressing your emotions and your beliefs. So, yeah, I think first in many years of my life, I kept things inside and then everyone got used to me keeping things inside. So then, of course, it wouldn't feel very comfortable to them if I started. really showing them who I really was, and what I really thought and believed. But then you're right, as soon as I started expressing and saying, Hey, I'm not going back on this. This is really who I am, this is really what I believe. And you can't control me, you can't shame me, it's not going to work. I'm still going to keep on going and doing what I'm going to do no matter whatever manipulative techniques you do, then, you know, you kind of pass the test. It's like, I was afraid of being rejected. And they did try to reject me, but I just stuck with it. And then they're like, well, I love you. Anyway.
Parker Hall 14:27
There's a couple of things that come to mind there, too. Do you mind if I just talk a little bit about anger because one of my contributions to the psychotherapy profession has been to differentiate between anger and rage and see anger as a very important processing emotion and rage as a trauma, coping mechanism. So anger is really necessary for exactly what you're saying is to say, Oh, hang on a minute. I've got a difference of opinion. You know, you can have your opinion, and I'm having my opinion. You can thing what you like, but this is what I think and it. Anger is a kind of boundary, emotion, it protects the self, it protects the identity and the integrity of ourselves. So we so need anger. And once we start asserting ourselves, some people will want to shame us and stop us. And they'll want us to go back to the older version of ourselves. So that's the that's the anger thing. And I, I love the biblical story, the three temptations of Christ. And I think every time we try to change, we get tempted three times to go back to our former smaller cells. And if we survive the temptation and don't go back, people's energy just stops trying to push us around,
Sean Morgan 15:54
or those are those temptations Oh, always the three different kinds or are using saying it's just kind of a pattern, or there's some specifics to
Parker Hall 16:03
be the same person who tries
Parker Hall 16:06
over and over three times to get us back in the state we were before in managing conflict, or it could come from different.
Parker Hall 16:17
Sean Morgan 16:19
I really, I really believe in universal principles. And that's one of them. You know, kind of like the hero's journey that I've noticed, replay over and over again in my life that there will be this instinct or this fear. And if I just keep going with my hearts, past that thing that's trying to hold me back. And I just keep going like, even though I don't have any money, I'm gonna do this thing that I believe in. And God will come through and support me or I I believe in this so much. I'm willing to experience poverty or Some some other kind of thing. And then every single time, you know, when I quote unquote pass the test, then I get this big reward. You know, and it could be some, like I just mentioned, it's this example some kind of financial support. For example, this channel. You know, I released 22 videos, I spent a lot of time and energy on it. I didn't know if everyone would think I was stupid and crazy. And I just took the risk and I did it. And I got the reward. The reward was that there were, you know, 30,000 people who are interested in learning about it, and they were actually willing to support me on Patreon. And even though I lost my job, due to Coronavirus, this whole other career has has replaced it. And so that's just one out of a million examples in my life of passing a test and then just sticking with something past the fear enough to to make it Pass the other side.
Parker Hall 18:01
Yes, I couldn't agree more. I've walked away this just a couple of examples from two salary jobs. Because the values or principles of the organization were were not suiting me any longer. And I stepped into nothing. And it very, very quickly, what we merged was a million times better than all tech laughter is a lot better paid. Make me feel a lot better about myself. I could make more of a contribution. So I totally you know, we have to follow our heart. And, and well, the rewards are there.
Sean Morgan 18:46
Yes. And I just to go back to the anger and rage and the therapeutic side. You know, I I have, I'm a kind of an introvert and so it's it's it's hard For me to get myself to share my emotions with others, and I've had to learn to do that. And I've worked with a therapist, and so I'm not afraid of the therapeutic process. I love it. I think pretty much 100% of the population should try therapy. Or just talking to a friend that you trust, you know, that doesn't judge you. So, is there anything you want to say about like techniques or things that you would recommend people do if they're feeling overwhelmed by all of the the darkness of the information they're learning about?
Parker Hall 19:34
Okay, I think you're making such a good point. And Shawn, because I think people need to get stable before they can process. So if people are feeling overwhelmed, they they've got to down regulate themselves. If they're feeling depressed, low, hopeless, they've got to up regulate themselves. So let's start with the regulating Really simple thing to do, simply put your hand over your heart. It's incredibly simple, but it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. And it can stop panic attacks. If only you remember to use it when you're having a panic attack
Sean Morgan 20:18
brings you back down into your body rather than your head.
Parker Hall 20:21
And it brings you
Parker Hall 20:22
to this region that you were talking about the heart region, and that's that's where our settled state comes from our relaxed, open hearted, engaged and engaged herbal place. So that's that's one thing and I, when I work with clients who are anxious or agitated, I suggest they do it as often as they can during the day. At the very least do it as if you were taking medication four times a day,
Sean Morgan 20:48
you know, right there. That's probably the easiest cheapest medication you could take
Parker Hall 20:54
the pharma suit to cola
Parker Hall 20:59
or lightness. The other is something called pace breathing.
Parker Hall 21:05
Which is, notice what your normal in breath is. So don't mess about with your in breath. Just notice what you know. One is minds for example six. So breathe in for six, and then extend it by two seconds longer the out breath. So you breathe in for whatever your normal comfortable in breath is, and then breathe out for two seconds longer. And again, that stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system. The rest the digest.
Sean Morgan 21:36
Yes, I actually had panic attacks as a teenager and this is something that instinctually I came up with for myself to calm myself down. I would do really strong out breaths and I felt myself just kind of grounding. So I can say that that one works for me.
Parker Hall 21:57
Now lots of people put their hands in their chest in Over the art instinctively as well. And if you've only got a very short in breath, then you do need to muck about with it, because you do need to make it I think, at least a full second.
Parker Hall 22:14
Long in breath,
Parker Hall 22:17
almost panting you know, a couple of seconds. That's not energizing. It's not inspiring you that's keeping you in that low flop, depressive state. So if you're down regulated, you do need to just notice your breath and
Parker Hall 22:34
make your impressed a bit longer.
Parker Hall 22:39
And the opposite is true. When you're downregulated. You need to have any to extend your in breath, not your out breath. Your breath needs to be two seconds longer. So a couple of very simple things.
Sean Morgan 22:50
Yeah, that's very practical.
Parker Hall 22:52
Good, good. So
Parker Hall 22:57
to get into what some of my courses called the green zone, which is where we feel safe, secure, peaceful, blah, blah. You have to really notice what gives you pleasure and what suits you and what gives you calmness. That could be an activity. It could be an object, it could be person, it could be music. It it's about really noticing what makes you feel at ease, calm, safe, and surrounding yourself with those things, those people those things and making it your top priority. That has to be a top priority to see.
Sean Morgan 23:40
Yeah, life isn't just about a grind of making money and taking care of responsibilities. It's, it should be fun. You should enjoy life. And we have family, friends and nature around us. And I actually, you know, because I went through so many mental problems in my life I ended up writing A book about things that helped me It's called the mastery of change. And just a lot of it is just very practical normal stuff like, Hey, you should get into nature, you should get your getting sunlight, you know, limit your technology, time and, and things like that. So, you know, people can just google mastery of change and there's a free version on my website. But
Sean Morgan 24:25
yeah, so I think this is a great
Parker Hall 24:28
Can I say a couple more things here.
Parker Hall 24:32
It was one noticing COVID-19 my all my practices gone online. always done about a third of my practice on under all of it's gonna load. And what I'm noticing is the diversity in how people feel safe and steady and engaged. And so for example, what you're saying about electronics, some, some people need to watch a lot of news to feel steady. For other people watching a lot of news mean they're overwhelmed? You know? So it's it's important that people really nuance.
Parker Hall 25:07
Sean Morgan 25:08
yeah, it's, I like to think of life as a science experiment. You have to keep on testing things. If if, you know, six hours a day of electronics is not working for you and you don't feel good, try to do way less, and see how you feel. Yeah, same thing with diets. You know, you can try being vegetarian, try, try different, eliminating certain categories of food and see if you feel better. Have to start taking responsibility for your own your own life and your own lifestyle.
Parker Hall 25:43
And that's really hard when we're overwhelmed and we don't know what to do with ourselves,
Sean Morgan 25:47
right? Oh, hard. Yes. And I always just try to return back to basics. You know, like, Am I getting some time in nature every day? Am I getting a little exercise every day and I don't Don't have to push myself, I don't have to run a marathon, you know, but as long as I'm going out there and getting some walks and getting some fresh air, and just just kind of normal balance, then that kind of puts me in a place where I can deal with the challenges easier.
Parker Hall 26:17
Absolutely, and staying connected to yourself as as much as you can. And what am i drawn to? What do I need to move away from using our emotional compass to guide us?
Sean Morgan 26:30
Right? Absolutely. And also spirit, your spiritual journey, you know, if that's part of your life, and sometimes going deeper into that can seem to solve all your problems. So well, thank you so much. So where can people go to learn more about I think you have a Facebook group where you do the masculinity psychology, is that right? Yes,
Parker Hall 26:56
it's very early days. So there's not very much on there at the moment. But my colleague and I sat fine and I were the other half. That's the name of the Facebook page. And we're wanting to have masculinity more positively thought of, particularly in our psychotherapy profession.
Sean Morgan 27:18
So it is 50% of the universal principle
Sean Morgan 27:23
and throw it out with the bathwater.
Parker Hall 27:24
Yeah. Yeah, just needs 50% of the respect.
Sean Morgan 27:31
That's interesting. I'm gonna put a link in the description of the video so people can check out that Facebook group. And of course, if people wanted to work with you with their rage and all any type of issues, they could probably make an appointment with you. Is that right?
Parker Hall 27:44
Yes, I have got a little bit of availability at the moment. I've got about three sessions at the moment. Okay, but feel inclined to work with me or I could recommend other practitioners.
Sean Morgan 27:57
Great. Thank you so much, Susan. Maybe we can have another conversation as things develop
Parker Hall 28:02
problem to say thank you, to you to Shawn for all those videos. And I feel like I've gone back to ground zero, and I'm starting from one to three. And it's really ordering things for me and filling in
Sean Morgan 28:17
little gaps or holes. And we have a problem, which is an overload of information and overload of complexity, because of the internet and just how much is available to us. So it really seems like What is needed is structuring the knowledge and simplifying it was so brilliant. trying to do. Thank you. So yeah, let's let's talk again as things develop, because I have a feeling that as things kind of hit a crescendo, this is going to start being really, really more and more relevant for people and they're going to have to get some new new tools.
Parker Hall 28:53
I'd love to and I'm thinking there's a possibility of having some online groups where we can identify with each other and not feel so alone or isolated and acknowledge each other's goodness
Parker Hall 29:05
because we're good people, we want
Sean Morgan 29:07
great things. I think community is important. So as a first step, something that would be free was is people can check out your Facebook group, right? And then maybe you'll organize something from there. On my channel side, we have a private Facebook group and a private discord chat. And that involves, you know, becoming a Patreon supporter, you pay $3 a month and you get access. So if anyone wants to try that, get some community and emotional support and sharing information with others, and that's one way to do it.
Parker Hall 29:40
Sean Morgan 29:43
Thank you. Thank you. So talk to you later.
Parker Hall 29:46
Lovely. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Sean Morgan 29:49
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